One problem I am increasingly confronted with in my adult life is lack of quality social contact, especially when I am not working. If it wasn’t for close family members who answer the phone in the evening I don’t know how I would cope. I firmly believe I am an introvert, however from my upbringing I have always had a community around me that I can join when I felt like it. The situation is complicated by the autism diagnosis I received in 2015 at 22 years of age.

Growing up I lived firstly in a town centre apartment block on the ground floor from about 1992 to 2001. The town I lived in was the West Coast town of Oban. Then, from about 10 years of age, a detached bungalow in a village about 5 miles from the town centre. The former house was walkable to most places in the town and with the latter there was an hourly bus service to and from Oban town centre. I was always connected to the Oban community. I largely had my independence with public transport and decent pedestrian paths around the town itself. I could see my friends when I wanted to on holidays and at the weekend. Before 17 when I moved to Glasgow for university, I lived with my younger brother, younger sister and mother and father and a border collie dog in the bungalow I mentioned previously. I had my own room where I could play computer games, read, play with my toys, and spend time alone. However I was always in a small community in itself in my family home. Something perhaps I have taken for granted for most of my life. Monday to Friday 9am until 4pm I was in Oban High school. I socialised at the class intervals with a peer group of about 12 other boys. In class I generally socialised without too much problem however there was a lot of teasing and criticism in the early high school years. I think it’s fair to say I had a community both at home and at school, around me at all times, people to joke with, people who noticed when I wasn’t there, people to talk about hobbies with. I also helped out with walking and feeding the border collie who was very appreciative of me. Funny thing is during that time when I got a bit of spare time my favourite activity was to play a computer game or read a book by myself. Social activity was structured at school which I prefer even now. At home we bonded as a family by watching mystery murder tv shows or comedy in the living room. I also bonded with my father when we walked the dog together.

Fast forward to 2025 and my least favourite day is a Sunday. I’ve lost that home community I once had. Typically families go to church or spend time together as a household on this day. I love the normality of Monday to Saturday and the purpose and distraction of work. On festival periods such as Christmas I also get anxious with lots of unstructured social activity and spending time with people I am not used to spending time with. There is a disruption of routine too and an expectation of the people around you that can be hard to meet due to my autistic traits. My psychiatrist told me, recently, neurotypical people enjoy the multiple sensations of days such as Christmas. The smell, the sound, the laughter, the unordered socialising. The mixture is what makes these times so memorable apparently. However times like these really drain my batteries much faster and once my batteries are dead I need to go and lie down on my own. Some people have trouble getting their head around that limitation of mine.

I guess as I move forward I have more realisations about my problems and then can enact strategies to help deal with such problems as loneliness and living on my own.