I first met my friend David in Bruar Ward. He made a comment in reference to my t-shirt. In truth it was a T-shirt from Primark and I didn’t know what the emblem meant. It was a USA flag sort of in the shape of the main body of an electric guitar. David had a deep voice and he was well built and a strong south English accent. I can’t remember his hairstyle (or lack of) or his beard (or lack of). He has changed both his hair and beard over the years.

I remember being curious about him immediately. However it wasn’t until Aonach Mor ward that I really got to know him. One day he told me he’d gone on a walk with another patient. I knew all the patient’s first names because they were on the communal white board by the staff room. I can’t remember who suggested we walk together but I do remember talking and he twice asked me if I wanted to go further to which I replied in the affirmative. 

Aonach Mor was pretty boring. A lot of the other patients were absorbed in their own thoughts or liked watching the television all day. Also I guess some of them were somewhat institutionalized and I struggled to connect with them.

David was different. He told me he was a teacher once. He used to be in a band too. He loved physical exercise. He did stuff each day!

Soon we were walking every day across Craig Phadraig and Craig Dunain, two hills with a ridge overlooking Inverness. I liked the conversation, David liked the exercise more I think. I think it was just before Covid Lockdown that we started walking and we continued right through and after Lockdown. I think we had special permission to exercise (being in a hospital ward).

Anyone who is unemployed will know it’s often difficult to fill your day when you have no job or reason to rise early. The daily walk with David sort of gave purpose to my days. And it tired me out (2-3 hours of walking). But my friendship with David gave me more than that. David was extremely gregarious. He befriended all the patients and staff. He manged to bring people out of their isolation. He had a deep and infectious laugh. He’d seize upon a humorous aspect of the conversation and enhance it. He seemed to be immune to the stigma of being in hospital when outside the ward (in public). He befriended buskers, coffee baristas, and people in the park. The occupational therapist liked him because of his sociability and almost leadership-like qualities. One day there was about 5 of us trekking up Craig Phadraig together, sharing stories, bantering, and giving each other advice. I got to know the patients in a new way. Away from the staff and nurses their individuality shone through. Sometimes we’d get a coffee after the walk. David had a large cafeteria and would share it with everyone on the floor and get everyone out of their rooms and chat. Another aspect of David was his motivation to learn. I remember him writing out French verbs on an A4 lined piece of paper. There was a whiteboard in the communal kitchen where he also wrote out some vocab. Other patients left him messages with smiley faces and his name. David even started my own journey to learning German. He told me of an exchange he did with a family in Germany and he joked around in German to encourage me. I got my A1 last year, I’m proud to say. Eventually we started going out to the Black Isle Bar (probably the most popular bar in Inverness). David would have a few pints (strictly against Aonach Mor rules) and I would always be too scared. We’d have to hurry back before night curfew and try to avoid getting too close to the staff for fear of a telling off (or worse). At the time, David’s social ease contrasted with my social awkwardness and low self esteem. I remember him striking up conversations with a variety of people. Of course he was much better about lying as to his occupation! Making conversation at public houses and knowing when to interject is a skill in itself, to minimise awkwardness, in an appropriate manner. To the inexperienced eye, the skill can seem almost impossible. But David had an ability in this field. I remember him striking up a conversation with two French ladies who were in Inverness visiting. On another occasion he brought me along on one occasion for a session with an Italian barista. 

Hospital and compulsory detention crushed my self esteem and confidence. Before I met David I spent most of my time playing computer games in my room. David gave me spirit, friendship and even reason to stand up to my psychiatrist (who could impose rules on me). I demanded more time off-ward. Exercise and friendship are good for my mental health, I argued. I got it.

Eventually David managed to come off his compulsory treatment order which was no surprise. Even the psychiatrist seemed fond of him. And then he was gone. 

Being in a mental health ward was a very difficult time for me. But I’ve been friends with David ever since that period. Of course my confidence has grown and our friendship has changed. Real life companionship and social interaction are what makes life worth living in difficult places and at difficult times.