It’s the first of February and it’s a Sunday. I am in Xoko and its 0740. There is not much happening here but its nice and warm at least, it’s cold outside. It was a cold walk coming here. When I entered Xoko I was the only customer in the place. The music playing was ‘Sweet Home Alabama.’ I listened to Caravan Palace on the walk in my head phones.

An East Asian looking man entered after me, I think he had an American accent but I can’t quite be sure. He smoked a cigarette (outside) while he waited for his coffee. Then a lone female who took her coffee to go and left. The East Asian man told the staff he had to go back to his hostel I think. Then a group of 3 guys, tourists perhaps, entered. Now it’s a song I don’t recognise. I am sitting at a bench and a table that could fit 6 or 8 people. Now the East Asian man has returned for his coffee. I wonder momentarily what attracts him to Scotland. And to Inverness? He is of slim build and approximately my height (5ft 7inches) or smaller. He has long hair, a bit like a Samurai from an old movie. He’s wearing an orange brown fleece and green outdoor trousers. He appears to be a solo traveller. 

I think back to the Ceilidh I attended the night before. Lots of new faces. I enjoyed the synchronised dancing, and I struggled with the unscripted talking in between. It’s easy when there are strict rules, you have to be doing this part of the dance when the music is at this part. The dancing is in formation and everyone is doing it so even if you make a mistake you don’t look stupid. The dances are those that I was taught in High School in Oban. Gay Gordon’s, Dashing White Sergeant, Canadian Barn Dance, Strip the Willow. It’s familiar. The atmosphere is forgiving and as long as you take part people are kind to you. It’s the bit afterwards that I struggle with, when I have to look into my dancing partner’s eyes, say something appropriate (and perhaps humorous). I feel like I’m pretending. Putting on an act. 

I didn’t enjoy the silent disco after the Ceilidh. The people dancing were trying too hard. The East Asian man now turns towards me. I see he has a neat moustache that links to his neat beard/goatee via a hairline on both sides of his mouth. The man pays his bill and briefly makes small talk with the staff member before leaving. Now it’s just me again. The song’s chorus is ‘Dancing in the moonlight.’ Then another song I don’t recognise.

Now a couple enter, I am not sure if they are together as boyfriend and girlfriend or just friends. Difficult to tell from the way they interact. Their interaction between themselves is ever so slightly cold. They seem to be Scottish by their accents. Perhaps they are up from the Central Belt doing a Munro? Hunting for Nessie?

I was doomscrolling on Tiktok early this morning (before now). Just trying to distract myself from my thoughts. I awoke very early.

Then I called my Uncle. We spoke for about half an hour. I was trying to make up my mind whether to attend a job interview in a place called Motherwell near Glasgow. I definitely don’t feel like going, I don’t think it’s worthwhile. I’m too comfortable here in Inverness.

Eventually I finish my coffee and leave Xoko and walk home in the chilly weather.